


Scream till your voice goes raw

by koalaoshiz



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Dorks in Love, First Dates, M/M, Near Death Experiences, banshee related angst, lots of screaming, the mice being the MVPs as always, trans!Lance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:55:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28504827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koalaoshiz/pseuds/koalaoshiz
Summary: And you scream, and you cry,You will feel empty, left to dry.Because your heart know;There will be no tomorrow.
Relationships: Lance/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Scream till your voice goes raw

**Author's Note:**

> With the art of the absolutely awesome Kurokosou: https://veilofemptyspace.tumblr.com/post/639212671743459328/and-my-2nd-piece-for-the-spooky-shance-bang-to !!!!  
> Please give her love, she's so so awesome and cool!
> 
> (also I hope you enjoy the fic~)

Shiro doesn't really know when he truly began acknowledging Lance's behavior as "slightly worrying" rather than annoying in the grand scheme of things. There is no real shift, just an observation after training one day, when Lance doesn't get up as quickly as he did before, simply laying on the floor from where he had landed after dealing with the drone strike. Keith would look down at him, exchange a few words - had Keith been worried even before Shiro? Possibly. Their friendship while a push and pull of childish dares and competitions meant a lot to the Red Paladin. It was the reason why Shiro wasn't really telling them to stop bickering unless it got really heated.

But Keith had frowned slightly before Hunk shooed him on the side, pulling Lance up who wobbled on his feet, apparently fighting a yawn. This was what first ticked Shiro, knowing that Lance was always the first to go to bed and the last to wake up, insisting on getting a healthy amount of sleep despite their current predicament.

And Lance was right. They needed all the sleep they could get between the training sessions, the bonding moments and the battles against the Galra, more and more present in their schedule as of yet. They all had different sleeping patterns but they all managed to get a decent amount of hours - him less so, being plagued by nightmares every time you close your eyes is not conducive to a good rest.

So Lance being tired, even more so as the days passed, was worrying. Shiro had tried prodding Coran, to see if he could check in on Lance's health, if their situation wasn't damaging it. The Altean had only shrugged, seemingly as bewildered by Lance's sleep being disrupted. Shiro had also tried to ask him directly but was met with a confused Lance who affirmed he hadn't changed anything in his schedule since they arrived at the Castleship.

Shiro had sighed, chalking his lack of sleep on the ever increasing near death experiences they were dealing with, it was a good explanation for this behavior. Beside making Lance sleep more, there was nothing he could really do about it.

But it all got stranger and more worrying when one morning Lance came to the [salle a manger] with little to no voice, resorting to miming and pointing as not to hurt his throat more. Pidge had been the first to ask how it happened, which only prompted Lance to shrug as he was as clueless as she was. Keith had joked about the blessed silence they would have until he got his voice back and Hunk had tutted him, walking in the kitchen to prepare a hot beverage to help soothe Lance's throat.

Shiro had tried talking to Lance afterward, asking the blue paladin to come see him if his recent behavior had been due to nightmares and if it would help to talk about them to someone - him. Lance had looked at his leader, slightly confused but agreed nonetheless. Their one on one exchange ended with Shiro more reassured about him and Lance looking bashful, cheeks slightly pinker. 

Idly, Shiro thought it was a good look on Lance. He had the smallest of thought to run a finger on that cheek to see if the skin was as soft as he thought - it should be, after all the talks Lance gave them about his skin routine. He had quickly shooed it away, feeling it inappropriate.

Unfortunately, Shiro hadn't had the occasion to poke around _that_ before the alarms blarred, making them run towards their respective Lion's hangar.

Things after battle were tough, with Hunk having to go inside of a cryopod as his injuries were worrying. He and Keith had been caught in a trap and it was only by pure luck the others had been able to get to them before something worse had happened. Despite their best efforts, Hunk had taken a shot from one of the sentries right before Pidge was able to slash it. She was currently pacing in front of the pod, probably feeling guilty about the whole ordeal.

"It wasn't your fault." Lance told her, voice still raspy from this morning, sitting against the cold glass where Hunk was resting and healing.

"I should have been faster, I could have-"

"You couldn't have done anything, Pidge. You're human and those things are supercomputers, 0s and 1s. It's mathematically and physically impossible for you to be faster."

"Should have been." She sighed, finallys stopping pacing. Shiro took advantage of that to put a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry, Pidge. Hunk will be out of the pod in a few days, in better shape than ever. Pretty sure he won't be happy to see you blaming yourself about it, especially since you were held back by several drones as well."

"I guess..." Pidge muttered before visibly sagging against him. Shiro let her, even going as far as hugging his small friend with one arm. She looked pretty shaken, still and it wouldn't be healthy if all Pidge did was worry about unpredictable parameters.

"Alright, let's get to bed, team." Shiro said loudly for Keith and Lance, watching them slowly exit the cryopod room with a few last glances to their hurt companion before they walked towards their rooms. Since Pidge was in a different wing than them, Shiro accompanied her there and made a point to watch her get inside of her bed pushing away electronics around it so it wouldn't disrupt her. 

After he made sure she was going straight to sleep, Shiro let the door close behind him as he sighed, leaning against the wall of the corridor, passing a hand through his short locks.

He knew they alway teetered on the verge of being badly hurt but this time, it had been worse than he had thought and not just because Hunk had been the victim. 

The Galra were definitely getting smarter, getting used to going toe to toe with the Paladins and it showed with how they understood targeting a single one of them would disable Voltron entirely.

Shifting the training to a more defensive approach for the time being would be good for them, he thought as he began walking, his feet leading him slowly but surely towards Allura's quarters. It wasn't the first time they would discuss strategy late into the night and probably wasn't going to be the last.

He stumbles upon Lance before reaching the princess' room, composed enough not to let out the ridiculous yelp that had threatened to escape his lips at being surprised by the Blue Paladin.

Lance seemed irritated, which automatically put Shiro on guard.

"As I thought." Lance said, crossing his arms against his chest and Shiro felt a bit dumbfounded at it; He had only seen Lance like that a handful of times and _never_ towards him, so he didn't know what to say or how to act.

"You're a hypocrite, Shiro," Lance continued, tapping one feet against the metal flooring, brows furrowed. Lance always had a much more relaxed expression on his face habitually so seeing him so serious outside of training or battles had Shiro at a loss for words. "You're shooing us to bed but you expect to get away from it to speak voltron stuff with Allura? nuh-uh."

"We need to plan for the future, Lance, you've seen the Galra making their sentries more clever. It will soon become a worse threat for us and maybe next time one of us will die if we don't take preventive measures-"

"That can totally wait until tomorrow." Lance cuts him off, walking towards him to grip one of his arms - his right arm, his galra arm, to pull him towards his bedroom.

Shiro decided to indulge him. Shiro _could_ make himself deadweight, effectively stopping Lance from dragging him to his destination but he had seen Lance fireman carry Hunk to the Blue Lion earlier today. There was no way to tell if Lance wouldn't do the same to him if he didn't comply.

The thought of it - and the fact Shiro wanted to try his luck, to see if Lance _would_ carry him like a stubborn teenager to his room nearly made him trip. He was extremely glad Lance didn't comment on it. Perhaps he hadn't [remarquer] it?

"I can walk on my own, you should go to bed yourself." Shiro said, trying to appeal to Lance's strict sleeping schedule.

"And risk you slipping away to get to Allura? No way, dude." Lance tutted him, his grip on Shiro's arm tightening. Shiro had always been amazed at the galra technology, his arm being filled with sensors that told him how much pressure he used when squeezing, if something or someone was touching him and roughly the temperature. His galra arm wasn't as sensitive as his flesh arm but when he was too tired to care, it did the trick perfectly.

"I would say "alright, you got me." but you're absolutely right. I need sleep and I would have been utterly miserable tomorrow if you didn't catch me."

"Oh... I mean, duh, I'm right!" Lance squeaked, cheeks dusted with pink.

The rest of the walk to Shiro's room was made in silence, Lance clearly nervous even if Shiro wasn't really understanding why. Was it because he had scolded Shiro? Wasn't that adorable.

"Well, here we are." Lance stammered, [jumping from one feet to the other], "I guess I should go to my own room, now."

"If you want, I can-"

"Nope, we're not doing that." Lance laughed, pushing Shiro on the shoulder. Lance was definitely stronger than his lithe body let on and Shiro didn't know why but that made him giddy. He recalled his earlier thought of Lance carrying him around and he had to fight not to let his face show any of it.

"Doing what?" He asks instead, playing dumb.

"The thing where you tell me you'd accompany me to my room, which I would _probably_ accept but that absolutely won't do. You should have said something earlier, big guy."

Shiro huffed a little at that but didn't deny anything. Well, he couldn't tease Lance anymore, it seemed. Too bad.

"Alright, I'm _seriously_ going to bed now, see you tomorrow, Shiro." Lance yawned, barely putting his hand in front of his mouth before he went up on his tippy toe and placed a barely there kiss on Shiro's cheek, quickly shuffling away after the act. Shiro was left dumbstruck in the hallway, hand an inch from the door panel, looking at Lance's retreating form which resembled more a tactical retreat than someone that was innocently going to their own room to sleep.

As unexpected the gesture had been, Shiro wasn't going to say anything about it tomorrow. Firstly because that would embarrass Lance in front of the others and secondly because Lance was a tactile person, someone that was very affectionate. He had seen him kiss the others numerous times, even Keith and Shiro felt like it was a big step for the blue paladin as he had seemed to shy from doing the same to Shiro until then.

A hidden third reason was he wanted to keep the tickling ghost of Lance's faint kiss on his cheek for himself, selfishly.

He has had hardly any affectionate contacts with the others, mostly because he had avoided it until now. His time at the Arena, while barely remembered, had still scarred him more than any of them knew. Allowing the others close to him, accepting the small kindnesses of everyday had been hard to relearn but he was glad of his progress.

The next morning, if Lance had seemed peppier than usual and clingier, no one said anything, least of all Shiro who was delighted to see Lance's gestes of affections extended to him as well, more than usual.

Hunk took four days to heal. Four days which were filled with more training sessions than they could handle and a few 'fights' between Lance and Coran about whom would main the kitchen in lieu of their usual chef. And while Lance wasn't as comfortable using alien ustensiles and alien ingredients, he was skilled enough not to give them food poisoning.

He had even tried to whip some sort of pancakes, a sickly yellow with purple chunks that were strangely spicy for when Hunk woke up, which had greetly worried the Yellow Paladin at the sight of them.

If Shiro ate his plate whole, that only concerned him.

Allura had made their training slightly less strenuous for a few days after Hunk was fully healed, which the others were grateful of. While it hadn't left them completely exhausted, it definitely hurt the coming morning, their muscles more sore than they ever had been.

Life resumed afterwards, filled with training, bonding times and battles. There were ups and downs but no one had been hurt enough to justify several days in the cryopod. The mice, per Allura's worries, were sleeping more often during the days than they usually did before but despite that, they were in perfect health so Coran had to tell her not to worry too much about it.

Their change from diurnal to nocturnal was indeed something to be concerned with but they were mice, Shiro thought. Mice were generally more active at dusk and at night. Sure, they were alien mice which could explain their difference in sleep patterns but Shiro wasn't an expert.

It also didn't help Shiro found himself more often than not thinking of Lance than anything else. It was strange, kind of alien in the situation they were in. Why was he suddenly becoming more aware of what Lance was doing and how he was doing it than pay attention to the others? As their leader, Shiro shouldn't be playing favorite too much. But as a warm blooded human who couldn't help but warm up to Lance's affectionate actions, there was no helping Shiro.

The fact they ended up doing more things together - only the two of them, amusingly sharing more common interests than they thought - wasn't helping. At all. Even if Lance was probably doing everything without second thoughts, Shiro basked in the attention, soaking up everything he could.

It must have been a few weeks since Hunk's near-death injuries when it happened.

Shiro had been woken up by a nightmare once more and he decided he couldn't stay in his room, his skin buzzing with the restless energy of someone's fight or flight instinct kicking around in his bones. He needed to walk it off, needed to tire himself out so he wouldn't be a liability to the team come morning.

As the door to his room opened to the empty hallway, a faint shrill sound grazed his ears, sending him immediately in high alert. In the dead of night, there shouldn't be any sounds except the barely there hum of the machinery, simple background noise they all became accustomed to. Hearing a sound similar to a fork against a plate was worrisome, especially since all rooms were exceptionally soundproof from the inside.

It's difficult to properly navigate the castle to find something using only sounds, Shiro realizes soon enough, the noise echoing around him, bouncing on the walls like inside of a cave.

He would have gotten pretty lost if he hadn't nearly walked on one of Allura's mice, the little rodent squeaking at him, shaking one of its paw in [anger].

"Sorry, I couldn't see you." Shiro apologized to the mice, receving a mildly annoyed look before it seemed to placate a little, rubbing at its nuzzle. Seemingly taking a decision, it began trotting away from Shiro, right after gesturing at him to follow it. It was always amazing to see how expressive these little buggers were.

By following the mice closely, Shiro was approaching the shrilling sound, becoming louder and louder at each of his steps until it became clear whatever made that noise was extremely consistent and wasn't moving from its spot.

Dreading for it to be a new Galra weapon or, worse, an altean device going awyre, Shiro jogged around the corner, only to stop, shocked by what he was seeing.

Instead of whatever he was imagining - some kind of box, a new type of android designed to make their life a living hell, was Lance. Lance in pajamas, prostrated against Keith's door, fingers digging into the metal as his shoulders trembled, as his whole body shook.

  
"Lance?!" Shiro cried out to his friend, his own voice barely heard under the shrill wailing Lance was making. "Lance! What are you doing? Stop that!" Shiro tried once again, walking up to Lance to shake him out of whatever funk he was in. So close to him, to his scream, Shiro's ears were whistling.

Lance didn't acknowledge Shiro's presence, didn't even seem to realize Shiro had taken one of his forearms in his galra hand to try and lift him off the ground.

Shiro is taken by surprise by how _heavy_ Lance was at this moment. Shiro had planned to lift Lance enough to put him back to his feet and push him towards his room but he was barely able to, struggling through it despite the increased strength his arm gave him.

When it was evident Shiro would be unable to move Lance, after trying to push him away from the door, he stepped back a little, feeling the shrill inside of his bones in an unpleasant way. Still, it was something difficult for him to digest his friend's behavior.

Especially since Lance was, if his mussed up sleep mask was any indication, asleep.

He knew some people who sleep walked through his time at the Garrison - stress was a good trigger for such behavior, yet he had never thought it would happen to his team even if their situation wasn't the most relaxed.

But Lance was baffling Shiro's knowledge of it, as poor as it was, his voice never once stopping or dropping in intensity. It was high enough to shatter glass, loud enough to travel through the castle's hallways and making Shiro shiver in the deep _sorrow_ contained in it.

If Shiro knew better, he would have thought Lance was mourning.

Eventually, after a few more minutes, Lance's scream pettered off, ending on a whine that was barely audible before the blue paladin leaned away from the door, got up on his feet and walked straight to his room, or he would have if Shiro hadn't been in way, making Lance crash against his chest. Lance staggered and went limp, falling in Shiro's arms, snoring gently.

Whiplashed, Shiro blinked a few times before deciding it would be better to ask Lance about his behavior in the morning. He suddenly felt tired, eyes drooping against his will as if the tension of the situation had let go, cutting the wires that had made him so restless a few moments prior.

Exhaling through his nose, Shiro walked toward Lance's room, thankfully right across from Keith's before he unlocked the door to place Lance on his bed, even going as far as tucking him under the covers.

Shiro stroked Lance's hair absent-mindedly. It was incredibly soft, proof that Lance was taking good care of himself despite the war he had been thrust in. How strange that someone that looked so well put together was subject to so much anxiety and strange bouts of sleepwalking? Perhaps that was one of the reasons he was exhausted come morning, from time to time. Shiro understood well how tiring such restless nights could be.

"I hope you sleep well from now on." He sighed, watching as the mice - that he hadn't seen come with him in the room - jumped on Lance's chest before laying on it with purpose. "I'm entrusting him to you." He told them before backtracking to the door, leaving Lance to sleep and going back to his own room to do the same. 

Shiro woke up several hours, brain foggy and full of regrets from not sleeping enough, thankfully without a headache to make it worse. Rubbing a hand on his face, Shiro raised from his bed, his thoughts immediately going towards Lance and his strange case of sleepwalking. He needed to find a way to talk to him about it without worrying or upsetting him.

So far, he had no idea how to do it properly but he figured he could ponder upon it during breakfast. And if Lance's behavior correlated to when he was exhausted through the days despite his good sleep schedule, then the blue paladin was going to be late for breakfast, leaving Shiro more time.

He arrived at the dinner room second to last, seeing Pidge and Keith already sitting in front of a fuming plate of breakfast goodness, Hunk probably somewhere in the kitchen as he could hear some pots clanking in there.

"Hey." Keith greeted him, raising an eyebrow at seeing him coming in at this time. If Shiro had been slightly more childish, he would have answered by sticking his tongue out at the obvious amused judgmental look Keith was throwing him but Shiro controlled himself far too well to do it. He could just augment the level of Keith's training later, thought.

"A few minutes late and you wouldn't have anything left." Pidge said, eyes flitting to him as she was focusing on something that was on her tablet. It was too far for Shiro to really see but knowing her, it could be anything.

"Now don't say that, Pidge. I'd always make more, there's no way I'm letting my friends go hungry at breakfast." Hunk tutted her, coming out of the kitchen with a plate for Shiro. He looked at him with sharp, inquisitive eyes before his expression softened. "Rough night?"

"You could say that." Shiro sighed, thanking Hunk with a smile before digging his fork into what looked like flan but bluer. "Speaking of rough, could you make something warm for Lance to drink? He's going to need it."

"Ok...?" Hunk frowned, curious about Shiro's words but not doubting him. Pidge, on her side, lifted her head from her tablet with a smirk on her face.

"Oooh? You and Lance...?" She suggested, wriggling her eyebrows. Shiro frowned, fighting against a blush at the suggestion but keeping his expression even.

"If you have enough time for wild fantasies, there's a new exercise the princess and I thought off-"

"I'm fine." Pidge cut him, going back to her tablet with a worried look on her face as she didn't know if Shiro was serious about his threat or not. She knew by habit that testing a new training exercise [concocté] by their two leaders would mean being left exhausted for the rest of the day as the difficulty was adjusted afterward. Frankly, he and Allura used those exercises as a form of punishment if the other paladins were getting too out of line and while they _might_ suspect it, Shiro wasn't going to admit it.

Lance arrived a few minutes later, shuffling his feet as he all but slumped in his chair, his head falling on his crossed arms. He looked terrible and seemed extremely tired. Hunk walked out of the kitchen with a plate and a mug, both fuming.

Lance’s thanks were barely audible as he gratefully took a sip of his drink, Hunk patting him lightly on the back. Since he came in so late, the rest of them had already finished eating but Shiro still shooed them off the room, preferring staying with Lance to keep him company. There were still noises from the kitchen where Hunk was still messing around. 

“Is everything alright, Lance?” Shiro asked him after he ate some of his food, keeping his tone soft and unjudging. “

Lance shrugged in response, sipping his cup all the while throwing quick glances at Shiro from above the rim. Shiro didn’t want to burden him further but he still wanted to make sure Lance wasn’t going to get overstressed today. 

“Say, what do you think of going on a tour of the gardens on Tresemia?” he nearly stammered, catching himself before fumbling. “We only get to begin the negotiations in the late afternoon so we largely have the time to sight see.”

Lance stops drinking and puts the cup on the table slowly, looking at Shiro as he had suddenly grown a second head. A faint pink shade was tinting his cheeks. 

“Like… on a date?” He asked, looking meek and adorable. Shiro couldn’t help but smile at him. 

“Yes, on a date. You and me. What do you think?”

There’s a second or two where Shiro’s heart hammers in his throat at Lance’s bewildered look but it went away quickly as the blue paladin nodded excitedly, hiding his face with his hands. 

“That… that would be great. Yes, I would love to.”

Shiro smiled at the positive answer, heart soaring high. He was so giddy, so happy that he couldn’t hide his smile. Getting up from his chair, he bent down to kiss Lance on the top of his head before walking to the door.

“Great. I’ll let you finish eating, I have a few things to finish coordinate details with Allura so I’ll see you afterwards. “ 

He hears Lance hums in assentiment as he squeezed his shoulder gently, getting out of the dinner room towards the control room where he knew Allura would be. As unhealthy as it might be for the two of them, being able to reliably know where they were at any point of the day was for the better for the other members of voltron. Sure, sometimes it was a bit suffocating, Pidge complained enough about that already, but in case of emergency, it was a blessing. 

Thankfully, it didn’t take long to note down the minutiae of their days here, from the moments they were free to roam around the city and when they would be negotiating with the leaders of this planet. Thankfully, they had double checked if there hadn’t been any Galra tampering, not wanting another Olkarion situation. 

At the Castle’s door, everyone was excited seeing the elegant buildings surrounding the castle in its landing strip and the elegant crystals floating everywhere. It was always a pleasure to visit a planet and see how wonderfully different it was from Earth. From his position, he could see the awestruck expression on Lance's face. Perfect.

"Alright guys, don't forget: you stay in the inner city, inside the crimson gates. Do not cause trouble, do not instigate fights-" with a pointed gaze towards Keith and Pidge, since he wouldn't be able to watch what they would be doing "-be sure to come back at the Castle at the fifteenth bell so we can change into more presentable clothes. Now, go have some fun."

There's a short moment where everyone looks at each other to gauge where they would be going and with who but then they branched of in different directions, Hunk with Keith and Pidge dragging a late Allura away. 

Lance was still by his side, expectant. Shiro smiled at him, extending his arm gallantly. Lance looked at him with a raised eyebrow. 

"Gentleman much?" 

"You deserve that and more." Shiro assured him, receiving a light laugh at it. Such expression was nice to see on Lance’s face, especially after seeming so stressed and sleep deprived for a while. To see him smile brightly and his eyes glim with impatience was reassuring. 

“Well, for now let’s go on our date, shall we?” Lance said, dragging a very willing Shiro with him. 

It felt great to discover the gardens, to weave through the small paths amongst the flowers as if traversing a small forest. The flowers were taller than them, towering like colorful umbrellas, showering them with pollen at each sway brought by the wind. It tickled their nose, made them sneeze a few times and brought laughter between them. The scent of the flowers was soothing, relaxing. 

Couples, families walked around them, children were giggling as they played hide and seek between the crystal like stems. Lance was smiling at their game, even pushed himself into Shiro to avoid the most rambunctious ones. His warmth against his side was nearly ovenlike and made him want to hold him tighter, longer. Lance was a warm person in the usual so being able to have it focused on himself made Shiro’s heart beat stronger. 

“It’s beautiful.” Lance sighed, leaning his head against Shiro’s bicep, his gaze fixated on the petals of the flowers over their heads. 

"Not as beautiful as you." Shiro nearly answered, instead humming in consent, looking at nothing else but Lance.

"I've always dreamed of that, back on Earth." Lance added after a few moments of silence. "Of what could be outside of the solar system, of the sights we could see. To fly in the vastness of space, free from gravity." A sigh. "What about you?" 

"I…" That question was personal, still sensitive, especially when it reminded him of what he had left on Earth, of the relationship that he trampled in his race against time. "Back on Earth, I was sick, so all I could do was push myself, further, faster, higher. I had set a sight on impossible feats, on records to break and I hurt a lot of people close to me, who cared about me."

"Yeah, I know… professor West was devastated when the Kerberos crew disappeared." 

Shiro felt a pang inside of his heart at the mention of Adam but quickly ignored it. He had spent so long, inside of his cell, thinking about his decision and the very real, very much painful consequences of it but had made peace with it. 

Adam and him had only worked because they were focused on the same goal for a while but when they both began to want different things, their relationship quickly got strained as they pulled in different directions. Staying on Earth and wasting away against being like a shooting star, Shiro had made his choice and Adam ended their relationship soon after. 

“I wish he found someone good.” He exhaled painfully. It was a bit awkward to talk about his ex in front of Lance, who he was very much trying to woo. 

“It’s weird, no?” Lance laughed nervously. “I had been watching you back at the Garrison with the knowledge you were unattainable and look at me now! Walking in an alien garden, on an alien planet, with the person I admired through most of my adolescence _on an actual date!_ Professor West would have a heart attack if he knew.”

“Best if he doesn’t know.” Shiro frowned. “We broke off, it was mutual and now I’m legally dead on Earth. I just… have to move on, Lance. With you, if you allow me.” 

“Well I ain’t letting you go.” Lance said in return as if that was the most logical thing ever, squeezing Shiro’s bicep possessively. “I’m ready to fight just so you keep smiling.”

“And you say _I’m_ gentlemanly.” 

“I’m a man as well.” Is Lance’s reply, with an unquestionable assurance. 

“Yes. But you’re more of a rascal than a gentleman.” Shiro chuckled at Lance’s offended gasp.

“I resent that!” 

Their walk was spent undisturbed after that, sharing small talk and quips as they shared a few snacks between them. Spending time without the rest of the team was invigorating. To not be all on each other every day, despite the size of the castle was liberating. It wasn’t until they came back towards the central area where the Castle was docked that Shiro bgan feeling grounded again. Being by Lance’s side had made him feel floaty, as if he was in a dream. 

"It's back to duty time." Lance sighed, a bit silly looking with the blue pollen still clinging to his hair. For Shiro, it only made him look prettier. "Why does time fly so fast when we have fun?"

“Because our perception of tim-”

“Hubuh-buh!” Lance shoved his hand in front of Shiro’s face. “That was a rhetorical question.” 

“Hey lovebirds, we’ve got work to do, stop flirting in front of everyone.” 

Lance yelped hearing Pidge’s voice behind them and even Shiro’s heart was hurting from the scare. He _will_ put a bell around her neck, he swears it. 

“Pidge!” Lance detached himself from Shiro to try and smack Pidge but she was nimble and avoided him. “Stop sneaking up on people!” 

“Then stop being so disgustingly sweet.” She countered, hoping away from his grasp. Shiro just shook his head at their antics, waiting for Allura to catch up with them. He couldn’t see Keith and Hunk just yet but he knew they wouldn’t be too late. 

“I’d say you’re jealous but I don’t want to die” He replied, walking inside of the Castle with her. Shiro looked at them as Allura finally arrived besides him, a small smile on her face. 

“How was your walk?” She asked him, looking more relaxed than she had been in weeks. Good to know this little respite was good for her as well. 

"Far too short if I'm honest." He answered, "it's nice to have had a breather but I wished it would have lasted longer. We all need to breathe, especially after the last battle and seeing them finally relaxing is great.”

He saw her nods from the corner of his eyes, knowing she was thinking the same thing as he was. He knew, truly, that she didn’t like pushing them to their limits days after days, until they were all messed up from the anticipation of a new attack, the heavy trainings they went through to [boost] their chances of survival and the near death experiences that left them wondering if they will come back home at all. 

“I’ll see to return to Olkarion after this mission so you can have a few days off.” 

"Thank you." 

They ate quickly after that, Lance bickering with Hunk about the food. He definitely looked better, which pleased Shiro immensely. A shame he never quite found the best moment to talk about his somnambulism. 

Because as they joined the parade the rulers of the different countries of [Tremeria], silky confettis being thrown at them from the crowd around them, there was an unexpected movement of the crowd, a sudden panic that broke them apart from one another.

Alarmed, he stood strong amidst the sea of bodies, his eyes swimming from the multitude of colors passing by him as he tried to spot the telltale white of the paladin armors. It should have been easy, he _knew_ none of the planet’s inhabitants wore white because of their cultural beliefs but the panicking crowd made it nearly impossible. 

There’s an abominably hectic, frantic moment where he cannot see anything, barely keeping his footing when he finally spotted a [spot] where the crowd was running around and the unmistakable shine of one of their shields making the people part way like a dam separating water. 

It was a struggle to join his friends through the mass of panicked people. Shiro had to push, had to forcefully create a path for himself, struggling as the different races of [tremerian] were as tall and wide as he was. 

When he finally was able to reach the shield, what waited for him made his heart stop for a short moment: laying on the ground in a puddle of blood was Keith, the hilt of a knife poking from just under his chest plate. Hunk was beside him and the owner of the shield that was protecting them from the stampede of lizard like people. 

“Shiro!” Hunk exclaimed, both relief and worry clear in his voice. 

“What the hell happened?” He asked Hunk, frantic as he knelt beside Keith, throwing glances around to see if the others were on their way to their position. 

“I- I don’t know!” Hunk answered, wavering only slightly. “Everything was calm for a while and then someone slammed into Keith and he fell to the ground- and the crowd began panicking right after… I couldn’t see anything, I’m sorry. I’m sorry!”

“Calm down, Hunk.” Shiro gritted, willing his nerves down so he wouldn’t blow up in panic. “We need to get back to the Castle and get Keith in a cryopod.”

Shiro bends down to lift Keith, wincing at his unconscious moans of pain, mentally apologizing for it. He had no other choice, after all. The knife was [stuck] in a very dangerous part of his body. Keith’s life was at stake and Shiro would _punch_ anyone trying to slow him down. 

Luckily for him, Hunk had the same thought as his as he placed himself in front of them, clearing a path towards the Castle. It seemed the crowd was slowly calming itself though which was a small relief in itself. 

The traject to the Castle was one of the most stressful moments of his life, neck to neck with when Lance had been hit by that explosion, at the beginning of their travel. Both of these filled him with the dreadful thought of being too late to do anything. When Lance had been hurt, there had been no power to the Castle, no way to help him immediately. Right now, they were hundreds of meters away from it, time ticking away in the form of Keith’s blood dripping from his stabwound. 

Each step felt like lead but he began breathing more easily when he finally saw the Castle in sight, the path thankfully free of people. Hunk was still running besides him, throwing worried glances his way as he was talking to what Shiro assumed was Coran. Truthfully, he didn’t care as long as Keith was safe. 

Things got a bit blurry afterwards, his worry and the urgency he felt mixing his thoughts, skewing his time perception, even after Coran safely removed the knife in Keith’s chest - serrated and thin, made to penetrate armors and do a lot of damages - to put him inside of the cryopod. 

He doesn’t remember when Hunk left the room to talk to Coran, nor when Allura came back from talking to the Tremerii leaders. He felt stuck in a loop, his thoughts coming back to Keith lying in a pool of blood, of the shouts of the panicked crowd, of the explosion of colors making his eyes hurt. He could see Keith in the cryopod, face slack and peaceful but the chill of it all was still making Shiro shiver. 

He’s shaken from his thoughts by Lance wrapping his arms around him for a hug. He wasn’t in his armor anymore, giving Shiro an inkling of how long he had been standing in front of the cryopod. 

“Hey, big guy. You coming back to us?”

“Lance…” He sighed, voice strained but still willing to leave Keith out of his sight to look at Lance. 

“Doing a reprise of your staring contest with Sendak?” Lance joked, earning himself a flat look from Shiro. “I don’t mind you hyperfocusing but you aren’t going to make Keith heal faster by standing in front of his icicle, still covered in his blood.” 

Shiro looked down at himself and just as Lance said, his armor was still painted with drying blood, making him grimace.

“I guess you’re right…”

“Duh.” Lance simply said, dragging him by the arm towards the door, just like he did in the gardens. Turns out he was very much getting used to lead Shiro wherever he wanted and it wasn’t like Shiro was going to say anything about that. It was rather endearing. 

“What happened, back there? I was so focused on getting Keith to safety that I totally ignored everything else.” He asked Lance who threw a quick glance at him, lips pinched. 

“I’m only telling you after a shower and a change of clothes. That is non negotiable.”

Shiro huffed, not at all about to contradict him, knowing full well how stubborn each and every one of them were. Thankfully, the trajet to his room was short, neither of them talking. 

Lance pushed him into the bathroom, claiming he needed to get something from his own room quickly and he’d be back when Shiro was done showering. Shiro let him go, focusing on his reflection in the mirror as the bathroom door closed behind him. 

He looked terrible, with his face haggard and the red blood smeared on his chest plate, crusted in his under armor. He hadn’t been aware he had nervously passed his hands on his face but the faint bloody handprints as well as some red in the white of his bang made him feel queasy. 

Avoiding looking at himself more than necessary, he made a quick work of getting rid of the sweat and blood covering him, staying for longer than usual under the warm stream of water. His eyes were scrunched up, his forehead was [leaning] against the smooth walls of the shower stall. He was the perfect example of someone trying very hard to keep from breaking apart and only succeeding by sheer luck. 

After a moment of trying very hard not to cry from how anxious he had been for Keith’s life, Shiro finally left the shower, drying himself with a fluffy, black towel. In hindsight, it was kind of amusing for his belongings to be color coded to his Lion. 

Feeling more like himself, he quickly got dressed in his regular clothes, he finally exited the bathroom to find Lance on his bed, reading something on a tablet. A large pouch was laying beside him, inkling Shiro on Lance’s plan for him. 

“How’re you feeling?” Lance asked, turning his attention towards Shiro as soon as he heard the woosh of the bathroom door. 

"Slightly better." Shiro answered truthfully, sinking on the floor next to the bed. Lance leaned towards him, passing a hesitant hand in his hair. "Thanks."

"Can't believe I need to order the mighty Black Paladin around like a child." Lance joked, resting his hands on Shiro's shoulder. "I know I'm the mom friend but that's a bit pushing it." 

"What? So, being a caring boyfriend is something you can't handle?" Shiro said, prodding a little at Lance's forearm with a finger. 

He hears Lance splutter a little and watched as he hid his face in his arms, his ears adorably red. 

"I'm your boyfriend?" He asked, voice shaking. He didn't look that displeased about Shiro technically jumping the gun in their budding relationship, which reassured the black paladin a little. 

"You can still say no." He said instead, feeling his cheeks becoming warm from the slight embarrassment. 

"Why would I do that?!" Lance asked, looking both confused and a little huffy. “As if I waited for such an opportunity to let it get away from me. Dream on, big guy.” 

“Right.” Shiro chuckled, passing a hand on his face, feeling exhausted and a little lost all of a sudden. Right. He was still coming down from shock. 

“Hey. He’s going to be alright.” Lance said, voice soft and understanding. “Keith’s a tough cookie. He’s going to get out of the cryopod, demanding to go train right away because he’s nuts like that.” 

Shiro laughed a little. “You’re not wrong. Even at the Garrison, he would be so annoyed after getting sick it was adorable.” 

“I’m actually jealous of all the dirt you got on him.” Lance hummed, changing position on the bed when Shiro finally moved to sit on it as well. He felt more comfortable around Lance now, felt calmer than earlier. 

“You can show your worries too.” Shiro simply answered, being prompted by Lance to lie on his lap. 

“And let him think I do more than tolerate him? Psshh, as if. He already think we had a ‘bonding moment’, I’m not going to make him think we are going to have a second one.”

Shiro laughed slightly at that, shaking his head. 

“He _did_ cradle you in his arms though. But with your concussion, amnesia was to be expected. I talked to him afterwards and he understood, he’s just bitter because you were so adamant it wasn’t possible.

“But seriously,” Shiro added after a few moments of silence, “if you’re too stressed out about Keith’s safety that you would come out at night to cry in front of his room.” 

He sensed Lance tense under him and the blank expression on his face clued Shiro on the fact he had no idea what he was talking about. 

“what?”

“Sleepwalking is understandable in moments of stress, and you can’t deny Keith isn’t adding on to it by being brash.” 

“No wait, I… cried in front of Keith’s room? When?”

“Yesterday night.” Shiro answered, feeling himself frown. “Lance? Is there a problem?”

Lance kept silent, nervously gnawing on his lower lip, deep in thought but looking troubled. 

“Hey, it’s ok, somnambulism happens, it’s perfectly normal especially when fighting a war. You don’t need to feel ashamed for your unconscious showing your fear and worries for a friend.”

“That’s… not what I’m worried about, Shiro…” Lance muttered, looking quite a bit somber. “It’s just… if that’s why I had a sore throat this morning then… maybe I did the same thing the night prior to another sore throat… and if my memory is correct, every time that happened, one of us ended up heavily injured, right?”

Shiro frowned, raising on an elbow to get a better look at Lance and be at his eye level. “I guess so? It happened in such random intervals it’s difficult to keep track of.”

“T’wasn’t so random…” Lance muttered, hanging his head low. He put his head in his hands, shoulders trembling ever so slightly. “Gosh… If I’m… Then she’s…”

“Lance?” Shiro asked, becoming worried of his new boyfriend’s behavior. 

“I think my grandma died? I don’t know… We’re in fucking _space_ and now I can predict my friend’s injuries, their _death_ and I just.. I can’t do it… It wasn’t supposed to be me… did something happened to my family? Oh god, what if Earth was gone?!”

“Lance, hey, breath!” Shiro shook Lance by his shoulders, prompting him to lift his head so they could look at each other in the eyes. “Calm down. I can’t understand a single thing you’re saying, with you spiralling into panic like that.”

Lance took a shaky breath, nodding slightly before he closed his eyes to regulate his breathing. He was still shaking but now he was breathing more regularly, at least.

“There’s something you should know about me, Shiro.” He told him, his deep blue eyes grave and solemn. “The blood of Bean Sídhe runs iny family. It is only ‘active’ on the maternal side but it allows us to know when someone is going to get into a heavy accident or… well… A lethal one. Whatever you must have heard about them, in folklore or whatever, it’s mostly true.” 

“So you, crying at night…”

“Yeah… Usually, there’s only one Bean Sí per family so if I started doing that here then... “ Lance sighed, curling into a ball. “My [nana] is... was the family Bean Sí but it should have passed to my Tia. And then to my mom, to Vero… to Rachel… then me...”

“Does it only apply to blood family?" Shiro asked, hoping to distract Lance from his spiraling thoughts. 

"Huh?”

“There's a saying about how friends can become family to you. Wouldn't your ability appear because you acknowledge us as your second family, making you the de facto Bean Sí for us?" 

Lance looked at him, as if it hadn't occurred to him this could be a solution. Shiro wasn't blaming him, after all he knew how much of a family oriented person Lance was, which was one facet of his that [enchanted] Shiro in their daily lives here in space. 

“I… didn’t think of that.” Lance mumbled, looking flustered about his outburst. Shiro didn’t mind it, the situation they were in, so far away from home wasn’t helping in any ways. “I feel like an idiot, now.”

“Don’t be like that, Lance. It’s normal, we’re in a stressful situation and you're allowed to break down. You don't need to be ashamed of it." 

"I'm not. Not really. It's just…" Lance lets out a few nonsensical noises as he tried to get his thoughts together. "I've been presenting myself for so long that, now, I feel like everyone is going to look at me differently and… it had already been so hard on Earth, I don’t think I’ll be able to handle the team being awkward about… me.”

“Lance,” Shiro said, nuzzling the side of his head lightly, “you’re one of the most amazing people I know. You’re brave, smart, competent, caring. The team knows you, they care about you. They certainly will be curious about it but if you tell them to back off, they will.”

“Yeah…” Lance sighed, muscles relaxing under Shiro’s touch. “I guess you’re right. Even so… aren’t you… disappointed? That I’m not…”

“I heard the subtext and I don’t care, Lance. I don’t choose to love you for your genitals or your ability to predict danger, I chose to fall in love with a badass sharpshooter that has such strong heroic in his veins he jumped in front of a bomb to protect someone. Your laser focus when snipping is extremely hot, you can probably lift me without much struggle and you make me laugh every day. 

“I didn’t choose to fall in love with you because I expected [dicks and balls], I wanted you to kiss me silly or do that impressive scissor hold with your thighs you did a few months back in training.”

“Gosh that’s-” Lance choked a bit, hiding his face in the crook of Shiro’s neck. “That’s the nicest thing I’ve heard in a long while.”

“I’m sure Hunk compliments you a lot.”

“ _Dating wise, you doof_.” Lance laughed, his voice coming a bit humid as he brought his arm to his face, probably to use the sleeves of his shirt to absorb his tears. 

"I should probably tell them about me." Lance said after a while, as they parted and sat down more comfortably on the bed. 

"Only tell them what you are comfortable sharing." Shiro said to him. "Pretty sure Allura and Coran will be more interested in your prediction ability than anything.”

Lance chuckled, shaking his head. He knew Shiro was right after all. With how long they’ve been sharing their mind while combining as Voltron, there would be no doubt in his mind about everyone’s loyalty. United as one, standing strong together. 

After that, they didn’t talk about anything as serious, preferring sharing stories from their time on Earth and about their fellow paladins, ending up falling asleep on each other. 

A few days passed after their talk as they waited for Keith to heal. Shiro became busy dealing with the political situation on Tremeria alongside Allura and Hunk as Lance and Pidge joined the investigation team, allowing them to have first hand information on what exactly had happened. 

As it turned out, a pro-Galra party had taken the festival in the negotiation’s honor as a good opportunity to make themselves known and feared. Striking down a Paladin when they would be the most visible would have made clear their allegiance to the Galra and, if they had succeeded in killing Keith, brought Voltron and everything it stood for to a screeching halt.

The Tremerian Lance arrested had been the most heinous, the most cultish to the Galra supremacy, perhaps not understanding their planet would have been hollowed out for their ressources by the ones they worshiped or maybe they didn’t care at all. Nothing else came out of Lance’s investigation as this cell didn’t have any [liaison] with the main group. 

On Allura’s side, the Tremerian leaders were twice as resolute in allying with Voltron and joining the alliance, stating they would not back down even in the throng of a scare tactic like this one. Lavish presents were offered as a get well soon gifts for Keith, the leaders wishing for him a speedy and good recovery and accepted unenthusiastically by them. 

The only upside of the situation were the fresh ingredients Hunk quickly claimed for himself to make a good meal for Keith when he would finally be out of the cryopod. It didn’t happen until four days after he had been stabbed, the cryopod doors opening with a cold hiss, freeing a cold and grumpy looking Keith. 

“Hey, welcome back buddy.” Shiro said to him, making sure he would not fall on his face by catching him by his armpit. 

“Good to be back.” Keith grunted in response, accepting with gratitude the vest Hunk extended to him as the medical suits were not meant to keep very warm. “What’d I miss?”

“Me having a badass detective noir moment.” Lance said, puffing his chest out in pride. This made everyone in the room snicker even if they knew the work he had done had been valuable. 

“Yeah, I can’t imagine it.” Keith snarked back at Lance, who looked shocked and outraged 

“How _dare you_. I arrested a lot of people for your sake!”

“Speaking of which,” Keith cut him before Lance could talk their ears off about his contribution to arresting the pro-galra cell. “Why was I the only one targeted?”

“Because you’re my right hand man.” Shiro tells him, guiding him out of the cryopod room to the dining room so he could finally get something in his stomach. Hunk quickly left them to bring the food to the table, Lance following him closely. 

Keith looked bitter and annoyed, probably just as much angry about it than Shiro was. It wasn’t fun whenever one of them was attacked and hurt but at least their other enemies considered the other paladins as equally dangerous and vitale to Voltron. Of course Keith would still be precious to Shiro because he was like a brother to him, and more so now that they were reunited - albeit in space. But the other paladins, Allura and Coran became as much part of his family as Keith was, and the red paladin viewed them the same way. 

Perhaps the galras and their other enemies viewed Keith as more important to Voltron than the rest - defeating Voltron’s purpose, really - but it made Shiro afraid at the thought Lance would be targeted as heavily because they were a couple, now. Of course, it didn’t alleviate the fact _every one of them_ were a prime target, but he knew those sickos would not back down at striking the Black Paladin where it hurt the most for him and he resented the universe for that. 

The meal was spent catching Keith up to speed with them, describing with great details what happened and how they dealt with it. He was amazed at Hunk's improvement on his diplomatic skills, as he had accommodated fairly quickly to it, awkwardness gone in the face of sheer anger at Keith's wound. 

When dessert was eaten and warm drinks distributed, Shiro could see that Lance was nervously fidgeting, shifting on his seat as if he was uncomfortable. This made Shiro tense a little but he trusted Lance and he trusted his team so all he had to do was stay on the sideline yet ready to intervene if he ever chickened out. 

“So I… have something to tell you guys.” Lance said, voice squeaking a little but he kept his head high and his shoulders relaxed. 

“The meal wasn’t to your taste?” Hunk asked, looking a bit sad but Lance quickly reassured him.

“No no, it’s not that! It’s delicious as always but, I mean, that’s something I’ve kept quiet about and,” he mumbled the next part “something I quite recently learned about. But I can’t hide it any longer, especially since we’re in a war.”

Lance took a steadying breath as the others leaned towards him slightly, curious about his confession. From his angle, Shiro couldn’t quite see their expression but they seemed more interested than worried about Lance’s secret. 

“I’m a Bean Sí and I’ve been predicting you guys being hurt for a while now, apparently. If I had known sooner, really, I would have told you straight ahead but that’s not something a Bean Sí is aware of right away…”

“Nah man,” Hunk said, sliding his chair closer to Lance’s so he could give him a one sided hug. “It’s nice that you told us but you don’t have to feel bad about not doing it sooner. You don’t have to cross your boundaries if you aren’t comfortable with revealing something that sensitive to you.” 

"So what, you go out at night and scream?" Pidge asked, frowning a little as she fished out her tablet from her pocket, starting typing on it furiously.

"That's the gist of it." Lance sighed, leaning back on his chair and against Hunk. "Takes a good toll on my sleep too, apparently."

"We'll need to make a [program] to [see when you do your banshee shtick].” She added, focused on her tablet. “Which door you go to, when you go. You need someone to witness it or something?”

“That’s usually how it works. I don’t know how it happened before though.”

At that, the squeaking of the mice attracted their attention as they seemed to proudly boast their involvement in this situation. 

“I guess now we know we don’t need a human specifically.” Hunk chuckled, fistbumping the mice to thank them for their help. Keith, on his side, hadn’t said anything yet but he was frowning, looking pensive. 

“Wait, I don’t understand.” He suddenly interjected, making Shiro tense slightly at his tone of voice. “I thought you Bean Sí were-” Everyone stiffed at that, Pidge especially, ready to smack him down if he ever said something insensitive. “_Irish but you boast to be Cuban...?” 

Lance spluttered a little before starting to laugh, all tension in the room dropping at Keith’s innocent question. “You _do_ know immigration is a _thing_ , right?” 

“Of course!” Keith cried out, cheeks reddening from the silliness of his question. 

“Oh my God, Keith.” Pidge drolled out in a preppy girl voice. “You can’t just _ask_ if someone is Irish.”

“I don’t know where that comes from and I don’t care.” Keith grumbled, crossing his arms and Lance took pity on him, starting to explain his genealogical tree to him, which immediately earned a groan from Hunk who probably heard it too many times before. 

Afterwards, Pidge and Hunk roped Coran into installing an automatic alert into the Castle ship’s sensors and cams for when Lance would leave his room in the middle of the night, not counting the times where he would just take something to eat in the kitchen. 

The alert would ping one of them to get him back to bed safely and they would know to assist him come morning. Allura had even agreed to let him sleep more whenever he would wail in front of one of their doors and to lighten his training for the day. Lance had complained a bit about this special treatment but none of them backed down.

Aside from that, in between Galra attacks, trainings and diplomatic {events], Shiro and Lance worked on their relationship, setting up dates on random planets whenever they had the occasion, but generally simply enjoying each other’s company. 

Lance would cuddle with Shiro at any occasions, despite Pidge’s fond annoyance over it and Shiro would bend down to kiss Lance - most of the time on the top of his head, but more and more on the mouth, sweet and affectionate. 

It took them only a few weeks to start sharing a room for real, as often Lance would go to sleep beside him from time to time, then more often as they grew more comfortable in the same bed. With this came the temptative makeout sessions where they gauged each other’s limits and how best to please. Lance had been too nervous to do more and Shiro wasn’t going to be the one to push it further than he was comfortable with. 

Shiro doesn't realize how much it upset Lance until the night right before they went back to Olkari to get their super teludav. 

He became focused on it, wishing about hopefully putting a huge dent into the Galra empire. With the help of the Blades of Marmora, Shiro truly hoped tomorrow’s victory would resonate far and wide into the universe, prompting more people to take up the arms and fight on their own. It made him busy and nervous as he strengthened his bond with Black, so much he wasn’t aware he began putting Lance off. 

It wasn’t until Lance managed to corner him in their room that Shiro realized how much his neglect had hurt Lance, especially when Shiro had been more focused on treating him more as “the Blue Paladin” rather than “Lance, my boyfriend.”

“I’m very much disappointed in you.” Lance told him, eyes squinted and lips pinched together, looking as angry as he should be. 

“Lance-” Shiro tried to say something, anything because he hated that furious flame in Lance’s ocean eyes, but Lance interrupted him pretty quickly. 

“Hab-bubub. I don’t want to hear anything.” Lance scowled, his discontentment clear as crystal in his position. 

All Shiro could do was try to look as apologetic as he could, hoping Lance would understand Shiro didn’t _really_ ignored him on purpose. 

“I can’t believe I have to corner you like a beast _just_ to spend time with you!” Lance said, throwing his arms in the air. “You stupid, sexy workaholic.”

“Are you insulting me or…?” Shiro asked a bit cheekily, since it was in his nature to try and rouse the exasperation of the ones he was closest to. 

“I don’t even know anymore!” Lance sighed, placing a hand on his forehead. “I understand you want everything to go well, so that’s why you jumped head first into this plan, but you completely started to neglect both yourself and, most importantly, _me_.”

Sighing, Shiro walked toward Lance, coaxing him gently in his arms. Lance let himself melt into the embrace as Shiro knew that, if he had truly been angry then he would have refused Shiro’s peace offering. 

“I’m sorry.” Shiro murmured, rubbing gentle circles into Lance’s back. “I thought that, if I made sure the plan was foolproof we could finally be free of it all, free to go back home. I am seeing you wither away with nerves each day, I hear you cry at night after dreaming of your family. I see everyone strung up and homesick.

“I just want everyone to be safe and go back to their family. I know I have been quite neglectful but-”

“Hey,” Lance cut him softly, raising a hand to put on Shiro’s cheek. He looked up and his pointy chin digged slightly in Shiro’s chest. “I know you sometimes get sucked into your tasks and you can’t see anything around it. I understand why. But still,” he adds, pouting, “That got me _reeaaaally_ frustrated.” 

Saying that, Lance guided Shiro’s hands down the hem of his pants, fluttering his eyelashes as Shiro gulped, feeling the warmth of his skin on his fingertips. 

“Are you sure?” Shiro asked, voice low. They never went further than heavy makeouts and while it made him hard just _thinking_ of getting Lance under him, hear his moans as he gently made love to him, Shiro needed to know Lance was truly ready. 

“I’ve never been more ready. “ Lance said in his ears, nearly purring. 

“You tell me if you want to stop. At any time.”

“Yeah, yeah. Sure.” Lance said kind of dismissively, walking away from Shiro to take his vest off and chuck his shoes somewhere in the room. He seemed confident but Shiro knew sometimes he acted like that to hide his nerves.

“I mean it, Lance.” Shiro insisted, receiving an exasperated yet fond look from Lance. 

“I know. And I love you for that, but I’m serious. I'm not a _virgin_ , per say, so you don't have to treat me like glass." 

“There’s a difference between treating you like glass and giving you the respect you deserve.” Shiro countered, chuckling slightly, following Lance’s example and starting to undress as well. 

Lance’s pants soon followed the shoes and socks but the shirt remained. He had told Shiro he was uncomfortable with people looking at his chest and touching it, which wasn’t something the black paladin was really [concerned with]. He had been honest with Lance and told him he was more of an ass and leg man rather than a chest guy, which had made his boyfriend laugh a little. 

They soon come back to one another, gentle kisses being exchanged as a slow, soft beginning to this new territory they will be traversing together; of course for neither of them, it wasn’t the first time they had sex but every partner was different, every one reacted differently to touches, kisses, murmured words. To learn what makes your partner squirm and what made them recoil was one of the most satisfying thing ever. 

For Lance to know Shiro had ticklish nipples,for Shiro to know a pressure on Lance’s calves would bring moans to his lips. Shiro shied away from using his prosthetic hand too much and Lance was uncomfortable with anything related to his chest. Little by little, they taught each other the languages of their bodies so they could communicate in harmony. 

They went slow, the pace sluggish and full of whispered words of devotion. The atmosphere between them was sparking, heating up as they interlaced their limbs and brought their lips together. Sweat glistened on their skin, akin to diamonds and their hooded eyes, full of pleasure, were as shimmering as the stars around the castleship. 

It was as if they were inside of a supernova, melting into each other and becoming one single being, so full of love and admiration it brought tears to their eyes. 

When they came back to themselves, they had to get their breath again. Their chests heaved together, their hearts were beating in unison and the twin smile on their faces showed the other how much love they had for them. Lance kept making circles with his fingers on Shiro’s back, Shiro’s hands were caressing Lance’s thighs as if they were adorned with delicate fineries. 

And in each other’s arms, they fell asleep. Content and full of warmth, they felt like nothing would go wrong as they had the other. 

Shiro thought it was perfect, with Lance clinging to him and snoring softly but destiny always had a way of stomping on his hopes and dreams: After a few hours of quiet, he felt Lance sit up from his hold. Tears fell on his skin and a powerful wail resonated inside of the room, making his eardrums vibrate. 

Shiro knew what it meant, to hear the Bean Si scream directly. He knew what was going to happen to him the next day, during their battle against Zarkon. It broke his heart, wrenching it out of his chest as tears pricked the corner of his eyes. 

He had already been lucky enough to have survived his illness and found the others, was lucky enough to have visited so many planets, seen so many stars twinkle in the vast void of space. He was lucky to have met Lance, to have fallen in love with him. 

Yet Shiro still felt bitter as he shifted to hold onto Lance as tears streamed onto his shoulder and down his back. 

Because he knew Lance would blame himself. Because the alarm they spent so much time and care to work on wasn’t supposed to work inside of their bedroom. Because he was going to leave them alone, no matter what he tried to do to escape this fate. 

Because finally, Death came back for him and Lance was his messenger. 

And the next day, after a grueling battle against Zarkon, after many close calls and frights, when the team walked up to Black, laying on the hangar’s floor like an abandoned toy, they would find nothing in her cockpit but the Black Bayard. 

Shiro had disappeared and Lance’s raw voice was enough of an answer.


End file.
